In 2 days the journey begins....but today I had to say Goodbye to two of my prize possessions. Kaley and Alexander are headed to West Virginia to stay while I am in Guatemala. Keegan will be staying here with my mom while I am gone and going to tennis camp. I hate goodbyes..and Goodbyes to your babies are even worse. There continues to be a range of emotions about this trip, from excitement to stressed about making sure I have packed all I "might" need, to even emotions of "do I really want to do this". I know I have been called to Guatemala, it was a feeling I got from the first mention of this trip. As I have said before, I truly believe this is where God is going to reveal how mighty he is.
I call myself a "newbie" still at all of this "church stuff". I was saved when I was 8 years old, but it wasn't until last August, that I feel I really met him. I sometimes feel like he said to me "ok, its my turn, you are running this race alone, and you look like your getting tired...Please let me hold your hand, and if you do....I will show you what a better race you can run". So out went my hand, and to it, I have held on tight....sometimes I try and let my grip loosen, and that is when he holds on to me tighter. But like I think with most Christians or even its our human nature to trust in him, and in the back of our minds think "ok is this for real....like I really am going to be ok"? If that's not the thinking of most, then oops I guess I just revealed that sometimes I need to see the black and white. Since last August, I have grown to love completely indulging myself in church, and longing to know more, and be with my church family. And let me just say, if you are attending a church, and you don't feel like they are apart of your family....YOU ARE AT THE WRONG CHURCH FOLKS!!!!!!
So anyways, I have prayed for strength over the past 6 months to overcome some of the hurdles I needed to get over, he has provided that. How do I know he has given me strength???? When decisions that should be hard to make, or should be a reason to cry for days over, are not....GOD has given your strength....When you ask God to give you peace.....and in the middle of the storm, people who know you well don't even know your going through a storm because the world doesn't become completely insane as you have a 24/7 meltdown.....GOD has given you peace. So at this point, I am at.....God please make you trust you 150%......trust that you know what is best for me, that you will protect my kids, my family & friends, that you will protect these amazing people that will journey with me, because they are my family, trust you that you will blanket all of us with a calmness as we all begin to say Goodbye to the ones we love before we become warriors for you.
Tonight is our last meeting with all of us that are going, I feel like emotions maybe high tonight. Last minute packing, and planning, but I know that whatever fears, or emotions any of us is experiencing we have each other to lean and walk with...That is one awesome feeling. The only last minute things I need to do is:
Get more SD cards....LOTS AND LOTS of pictures and videos
and yes......I need to get my nails done and a pedicure- OK...I said I was going to Guatemala...I didn't say I was gonna fall completely apart!!! If I only get a 5 minute luke warm shower a day, and the humidity is going to attack the hair, I must at LEAST have my nails and toes done......plus...I know if something happens to me, that some of my crazy family...like my brother would make sure no one touched up my roots, or flat ironed my hair, or did my nails before they put me in that pink casket with the rhinestones....because he would be laughing trying to make me look tragic....I will not go out like that!!!! hehehe...
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